When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Spiked Lemonade

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Bikini Top: 6 Shore Road by Pooja Bocas Bikini Top {one piece version here} | Shorts: One Teaspoon Denim Shorts | Shoes: Converse Chuck Taylor High Top Sneaker | Cap: American Needle LA Dodgers Baseball Cap | Bracelets: Tassel Bracelet Stack

And so it begins…a life update that I think y’all deserve to hear about. At first, when this happened, I didn’t think it was anyone’s business, but I had realized that I made it everyone’s business when I made my previous relationship so public. He was in every snap, he played a large part in my blog, and I knew that most of you noticed a change. He had disappeared. I was going out more. Being more independent. A little more wild, but hey, everyone needs that phase right? 7 months later, and I finally feel comfortable sharing this tale with y’all.

So, pull up a seat, grab a cup of coffee or a stiff drink {because you’ll need one} and read on, because I’m about to tell y’all a tale of a failed romance that sadly happens to people more frequently than you think.

[ A quick little side note before we begin: A big shout out to Katie from Katie’s Bliss for not only being a great friend but for inspiring me to write this post. I reached out to her the day she wrote her life update on her blog to let her know how brave I thought she was.  That’s when she inspired me to do the same. ]

It was a Friday evening, and we were discussing the time frame of when to get engaged. He had allegedly gotten ‘accepted into med school’ and was ‘attending class’.  Later that evening, on my way home, I would find out that he had lied for four years about {very} significant aspects of his life. To everyone — not just to me. It’s difficult to become accepted into my tight knit Lebanese family, but somehow he won the hearts of everyone. So when the truth came out, I wasn’t the only one left feeling distraught. My family was distraught. All of our friends were distraught, and we all worked through it together.

One of my best friends, Alex {who frequents my snapchat story} is the one who called me and told me. She lives in NYC, so she gave me a call on my way home later that night. I was telling her about my great night, until she cut me off and told me she had to tell me something. I could tell from her voice that it wasn’t a joke. It takes a lot of courage to tell your best friend something like that {and it takes time and effort to gather the proof for it all}. I made a U-turn on the highway and confronted him that same night. He denied it, finally admitted a portion of it, and in a daze, I walked out, never looking back again, knowing that I wasted 4 years of my life on a lie. I gave myself the weekend to cry, binge {bought literally a whole red velvet cake to myself}, and watch scary movies because fear was better than the emptiness I had to face. Alex later FaceTimed me and showed me all the proof and gave me the full explanations, and I had never been so thankful for a great friend that looks out for me. I would have been engaged or even married to someone I hadn’t even known.

I’m a pretty tough girl. I come off as indestructible to my friends. I have a hard exterior. I acted like I was totally fine around people when they would find out. I even laughed it off like “lol next bachelorette over here.” But deep inside, it was eating away at me. I would get to the privacy of my bedroom and I would finally allow myself to let a few tears escape, wondering how I let this happen. Maybe if I hadn’t been so selfish, and so focused on my degree, job, and establishing myself, I would have seen it years ago. But at the same time, I feel that I deserve to be selfish when it comes to those things. I deserve to make something of myself, especially at such a crucial time in my life.

Most of you know he converted to Catholicism {which isn’t an easy or quick process} and we would go to mass every Saturday evening. I somehow couldn’t bring myself to go to church anymore. I lost my faith in God. I felt betrayed in every sense of the word. I prayed for him before my own kin, and it was thrown back in my face. I would drive to church and sit in the parking lot, not being able to bring myself to walk in. Sometimes, I’d bail and Marilyn and Harold would meet me for sushi instead to cheer me up. I remember I called Alex one time crying in the church parking lot, and she told me to put some sunglasses on and get my a$$ inside. So I did what she said, felt 10 times better, and slowly but surely, my faith in God was restored as I continued going back to weekly mass.

How do you cope with the fact that you dated a lie for a substantial amount of years? I felt embarrassed, betrayed, and mad. Mad as hell.  My family felt the same, especially Marilyn who was closer with him than the rest of my family. I would run into people out and about and they would approach me, treating me as though I experienced a death in the family …”I heard…”. How do you even respond to that? “Thanks, I’m doing just fine *chuckle*”. I didn’t want people to think I was weak.

I have amazing friends and family — loyalty above all else. My brother and sister especially were there for me. My close childhood friends and college friends were there for me in tons of different ways, knowing that I would do the same for them at any given moment. Autumn {whom you also know from Snapchat} became my stand-in plus one for all fun fall activities and the ultimate wing-woman who lifted me up when I needed it. I purged my life of friends that weren’t there for me during this crucial time. Friends that just existed but truly weren’t “friends.” I cut out the bullsh*t in my life, and it was the best thing I had ever done.

I learned to move on, which was surprisingly easier than I thought because I had been in love with someone who wasn’t real. Getting over someone who didn’t really exist is easy to do, since I had fallen in love under false pretenses. The hard part is dealing with the betrayal and breach of trust.

I was living at home with my parents at the time, and ended up buying my first home {down the street from them which we always laugh about}. I remember the day I closed, I walked in and sat on the floor of the empty house by myself and cried. Happy tears, of course. But I had never thought that I would be able to pick up the pieces of my life — but somehow, with the help of my family and friends, I managed.

It was hard transitioning from a busy house full of family and love to a home all alone. I come from a traditional family and I always thought that I would have a husband when I had a home. So, when I needed to do handy work, I had to call my dad or brother (who are amazing) and then they would teach me how to do things.  I quickly learned these small tasks and you know what, it’s 2017. Women don’t need men to be successful. We do what we want, when we want, and are so much stronger for it. When my neighbors ask me where my husband and kids are, I smile and keep walking.

So, am I dating? Yes. I’ve survived. I haven’t lost complete faith in men.  My mom kept trying to sit me down and tell me that not all men are pigs, but at the same time, I feel like they just don’t make ’em like my dad anymore: a true gentleman, husband, father, and selfless hard worker. Actually, my friends are more traumatized than I am when it comes to the dating scene. Do I know what to look for now? Yes. Will I need this future man’s social to run an extensive background check and credit check? Most likely.

Many of you know that I’m currently in Naples, Florida for a little getaway. Last night, I was laying on the beach alone as the sun was setting and I was drifting in and out of a nap. I think I had a come-to-Jesus moment {that’s what they call it, right?}. The scene was so beautiful and I felt legitimately happy. Happy about every aspect of my life– my friends, my family, my job, my travels, my hobbies, and even my fears. And, for the first time in a *very* long time, I thought of him, and realized that I was no longer angry at what he did to me, my family, and my friends….but instead, I felt indifferent. That’s when I knew it was time to take this bad boy out of the draft archives and to finally post it.

Y’all may be wondering why it has taken me so long to share this with you, but I was embarrassed for the longest time. People told me “it happens!” But does it? Does it happen to people? It’s definitely a rarity. With social media ever present in our world today, it’s easy to think people’s lives are just as perfect as they portray them to be, but really, everyone is going through something, regardless of what that “something” is. It’s sometimes easy to forget that the one girl with that one insta handle is an actual person who faces problems, whether they be little problems or big ones.

Lastly, to all my friends and family who were there for me — I thank you for making me the strong independent gal I am today.

{Didn’t I tell y’all you needed a stiff drink for this?}

163 Responses to When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Spiked Lemonade

  1. Eleni says:

    Girl, you are incredible. This post is so heartfelt and moving, and this is what every blogger needs to do once in a while. I can only imagine how hard this was for you to not only write, but to actually share with the rest of the world. As a reader, this is when I feel it pays off the most on my end, because even though I don’t actually know you, I feel like you could be any of the people I see in real life from day to day. You’re exactly right: everyone is dealing with something, and we usually don’t know what that something is. You are so brave, and so strong, and I applaud you for doing this. I’m happy that you’ve found strength and courage and healing in this experience.
    xo,
    E

    • You’re so sweet — thanks girl. It was probably one of the hardest things I ever had to write. Mostly because I wanted to share my story without bashing anyone {if that makes sense?}. It’s difficult going through a hard time and then sharing it on such a public platform, but if I were able to inspire and help a few girls, then I’d be happy. Thanks so much for your encouraging and kind words — I love when women lift each other up! xx

  2. R. Jones says:

    Thank you for being so brave and telling us your story.

  3. Cait says:

    Girl I commend you so much for sharing this story with everyone. It can be so hard especially when you think you know someone so well. I was also in the same boat a few years back and actually engaged to the guy who was lieing to me for years as well. It was awful when I found out the truth and broke it off right then and there. Keep your head up- you have so many people that care and support you!

    • Thanks, Cait. I really appreciate your kind words! It’s definitely an intimate story, and it’s always hard to get over betrayal and lies but having a great support system is key! Thanks for reading along and I’m sorry that you had to experience something so similar as well. xx

  4. Meredith Rose says:

    GIRL. I’ve been a reader of yours for a while but this is the first time I’ve ever commented. I just need to say that you are a badass, hardworking lady of faith. The grace with which you share this story is incredible. And congratulations on becoming a homeowner! (I believe power tools are a girl’s best friend.) I look forward to seeing you keep on killin’ it.

    Meredith

    • Mackenzie says:

      Amen to all of the above!

      Grace – I am so grateful for your transparency and willingness to share the not-so-fun parts of your life. It’s so refreshing for someone to show that behind the perfectly-curated instagram squares and amazing blog posts there is a real person who has ups and downs just like the rest of us. Hang tight, sister! We are all cheering for you!

      • Thanks so much for your motivating words, Mackenzie! It’s hard to be honest about life troubles, especially when social media makes lives seem perfect. I hope you have a wonderful Wednesday! xx

    • Hi Meredith! First of all, your name is beautiful (hope that wasn’t creepy). Second, power tools are DEF a girl’s best friend. I can finally use a drill (#thanksdad). Thank you so much for following along for awhile and for your kind and encouraging comment. It means more than you know! xx

  5. mark metry says:

    you lost nothing but alot of heartache!! so proud of the girl you are and even prouder of the WOMAN you have become……….. finding you again is a process and one that only you can put a timeline on…. feel no shame!! FEEL THE CALM ! love you Grace !

    • Hi Mark! Fancy seeing you here ;). Hope you’re doing well! Thanks for your encouraging words. You’ve always been the sweetest. I know you haven’t had an easy time either–let’s show the world what we’re made of, yes? Xx

  6. I have a lot of respect for you. Enjoy your time in Naples – you deserve it!

  7. Stacy says:

    From a 45-yo mom to 3 who has been married 20 years, it happened to me oh-so-long ago. And then I met my husband when I was not looking or thinking about dating. And he’s a catch! Loves me like no other. And we still love each other like we did when we first got together.
    So bravo for posting. Super brave of you in a world/platform where putting yourself out there can be invitations for meanies.
    You are super talented, smart, and pretty. You seem grounded and fun and you are a great example for my daughters (17 & 14).
    So from Ga, with love, sending you a hug, a high five and a “YOU GO GIRL!”

    • Hi Stacy! Thanks so much for sharing that with me. It’s hard to deal with something like that, right? But your love story just confirms the way I feel. Everything happens for a reason. Sending my love to GA to you and your girls! xx

  8. Mary Louise says:

    It was so brave of you to post this and really let go of those demons. I’m inspired by your spirit. Keep going, Grace! You’re awesome!

  9. Allie Renko says:

    Grace, you are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story with everyone, i know it took a lot of courage and strength, but thank you for being so brave. I don’t even know you, but you deserve the absolute best and I have so much respect for you! Best wishes! xx

    Allie

    • Hi Allie! I’m so glad I shared this story with you and everyone! Your comforting words put some serious pep in my step today. Thanks for reading and I wish you the best as well! xx

  10. Lauren says:

    Thank you for sharing this experience and your life with us everyday on here, instagram, and snapchat! I love how your style has evolved since I have been following you (2014). Your fitness journey is also very inspiring! Keep doing you girl!

    • Thanks for following along for two years, Lauren! You’ve definitely seen my style evolve then ha! It’s all a part of life, I guess! Super grateful for your support and kind words. xx

  11. Morgan says:

    Grace – you are SO BRAVE for sharing this. I can’t even begin to imagine the loss and devastation you felt. I think what makes it worse ((at least it would for me)) is that he played your friends and family too. #girlpower baby!! SO HAPPY you are doing so much better now. God has big plans for you, I just know it!

    -Morgan
    How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com

    • Hi Morgan! Girl. I know. Tell me about it. In a messed up way, it was easier to get over because my family and friends also had to cope with it. Everything happens for a reason and I believe that God works in mysterious ways. Have a great day and thanks for taking the time to read! Xx

  12. Cindy says:

    You are STRONG❤❤❤ proud of you❤

  13. Thanks for sharing your story! That must have been so scary. But you came out of a dark phase and are on to bigger, better things!

    • Hi Erin! Scary is a good way to put it. I’m glad that I have such a great support system though. Thanks for reaching out and taking the time to read such a deep post for me. Xx

  14. Lauren says:

    I have been a follower of yours for a while now but felt I needed to comment after reading this. Thank you for sharing something that I am sure wasn’t easy to share. You’re a strong independent woman and the right man will appreciate it so much one day. You rock!

    • Hi Lauren! Thank you for continuing to follow along for so long! It definitely wasn’t easy to share, but I’m glad I did. Thanks so much for your love and support — really means a lot. Xx

  15. wow. good for you for sharing this post. obviously you still kept some things private, but the betrayal and feelings about it are certainly clear. i need to let this post serve as a reminder to me about “perfection” and how things seem so thru the internet. enjoy that stiff drink, you deserve it!
    b

    • I tried to be respectful of certain things haha but I’m glad you swung by my blog to read it! It was hard to write but worth it. Even if I inspired just one person –then that’s good enough for me. Have a great day! Xx

  16. Cass says:

    Grace- I’ve read your blog forever and like your instas but have never commented on a post… I have to tell you – a very similar situation happened to me in college. My best friend – we were roommates, did everything together, knew everything about each other – lied to me and others about everything in her life. For years. During the last year we were friends, she had pretended to be going to classes, but in reality had dropped out. She would leave super early in the morning for her 8AMs and then the rest of her classes and books were “online.” Again, for a YEAR she did this before everyone finally figured it out and then also discovered the truth about other things related to her family she had lied to us about. It was a terrible time and her family had to intervene and took her back home – we literally never saw her again. I felt the exact same things you described – I’ve never known anyone else to go through something like this (other than my other close friends who experienced this with me with the friend we had). It’s a terrible thing to experience, but YES it does happen to people. It’s crazy and scary and you do lose your faith in people for a while, but it gets better. Thank you for sharing!

    • Hi Cassie! Thanks for reaching out and taking the time to read such an intimate post of mine. It really is hard when you lose a best friend…but then add the lies on top of that. It’s hard not to blame yourself for not seeing it sooner, but I truly believe everything happens for a reason. I’ve never been happier and I’m sure your life is also 10x better off. Thanks for sharing your story!

  17. Kassy says:

    Don’t lose heart! They do still make them like our dads! They’re just fewer and farther between. When you find one, it’ll be so worth the wait and all the heartache! This post was so fantastic to read! I usually stop by for your workouts but it’s great to read more about who you are and what made you so strong (inside and out)! Praying that God continues to bring you happiness and peace about dating and relationships! You Go Girl!

    • They’re definitely fewer and farther between! This post was definitely more intimate than my typical posts — glad that you were able to get to know me better! Thankful for your kind words and prayers! xx

  18. Kimberly says:

    Such a brave post. I too spent about 4 years with a man who was dishonest and deceitful – I never knew him. I doubted my judgement for quite some time – until a dear friend reminded me that some people are expert liars, and we cannot be held responsible for not recognizing that type of abject dishonest. The best way forward is to forgive yourself – I finally did, and it made all of the difference. You certainly have a great future ahead of you! Looking forward to following the great things that are sure to come your way.

    • Unreal, right?! It’s amazing how you don’t see it until it actually happens, but people are just that good at lying. I kind of view it like an addiction {to lies} in a way. Thanks so much for shining some light and inspiring me in multiple ways! Have a great week! xx

  19. Katelyn says:

    Grace,

    Congrats to you girl! I’m so happy for you to finally be in a place where you feel strong and confident to write something like this! We don’t know each other, although I feel like I know you. I stalk most of your outfits and copy them (btw, thank you for the blue lace dress from revolve with the open back-it had changed my life). But I feel like we are kindred. I grew up on the other side of the state (greenup county), went to U.K., and have had very similar breakupS. My college boyfriend and I broke up right after graduation because I got my dream job out of state and he congratulated me by sleeping with my gf. I got my shit back together and met a guy that had everything I could ever want (on paper). we dated for 4 years, and I or up with everyone’s constant marriage pressure because I thought he was the one and it didn’t matter. We are talking ages 23-27. Like prime life/dating/ marriage years. When we broke up for reasons I still sometimes struggle with, I felt sad, empty, robbed of so many years, and mostly like such a fool. My family is also super close. And them breaking up with him was almost worse. I’m here to tell you, it gets so much better. Dating can be such a train wreck, but also an amazing opportunity to get free dinner and drinks and wear amazing dresses (see blue lace dress from above). I swear, the independence and confidence you gain from break ups like that cannot be taught anywhere else. Anyways, this long comment was all to say, good for you girl, you are killin life without him or any other dude. You will for sure find another one, be careful, but for now enjoy and appreciate your autonomy (and not having to split holidays, I mean boys asking me to not be with my family on Christmas, like are you drunk?). Thanks for upgrading my wardrobe massively too.

    • Girl. You and I are one in the same. First of all, that blue dress is amazing! I feel ya on that — and it’s the perfect dress to wear on a date {good work}. Second, NO ONE and I mean NO ONE takes me away from my family on Christmas. Like, bye. It’s really hard to go through a break-up during those years. You feel kind of ‘behind’ in a way, right? Everyone else is moving on with their significant others, while you just took three steps back. I think everything happens for a reason though, and it’s okay to find yourself for a little bit. Thanks for your bada$$ words, gf! xx

  20. Manasa says:

    Props girl! It takes a lot of courage to share that with the world, but you are not alone and as you clearly know his actions were about him, not you.
    I just wanted to tell you I know a girl who had something very similar happen to her a six years ago, her very serious bf and her moved in together, got a dog together and then he “got in to grad school” and had to “move out of state” so he would come see her on the weekends a lot and then one day she found out he had another apartment in the same town as her, and another gf in the same town too. He was truly living a double life, he had never moved out of state or started grad school. It’s horrifying as you know already.
    But there is a happy ending to this story, she has been with a loving, honest and committed man for the past 3 years now and all is well.
    So yes, this really does happen, I bet you most people know someone who this has happened to, or knows someone who knows someone.

    You are strong and brave! Keep kicking ass girl, you will find a man who is deserving of you!

    • Such a horrible story — but it does happen. It’s terrible how deceitful people can be. Thanks for sharing that with me, and thank you for your kind and uplifting words! Really means a lot! xx

  21. Juanita says:

    So brave to share, you have come a long way! Wishing you peace, health and success in all your endeavors!!!!

  22. Amy says:

    It takes a lot of strength to write something so personal for the world to read. A few years ago, at the age of 30, I went through a divorce that rocked my world. It was one thing to get away from the toxic relationship but another to deal with all the whispers…..30 and divorced, how could she make such a mistake and so on. People are so quick to judge without knowing the facts or even the individual. I congratulate you for picking yourself up and moving forward. The man of your dreams is out there, I know it. I found mine and just got married in December (yes for the second time world) and it’s been nothing but short of magical!

    • Hi Amy! It was definitely not easy to write something, but it had been weighing heavily on my heart. The whispers–probably the worst part of it all. Everyone is going through something, yet so many people judge without even considering what they’re going through. Thank you for sharing such a personal story with me. I’m thrilled to hear that you found the man of your dreams and y’all now happily married {even for the second time! Ain’t no problem with that!}. Sending love your way! Xx

  23. Grace, you’re so courageous! Love your snaps, girl. Chin up! We all go through dating hardships in some form or another. It could always be worse! Count your blessings. I’m glad you didn’t marry or have kids with this person. The right guy will come along!

    • It could have definitely been worse! Thanks God for unanswered prayers, right? {Thank you, George Strait}. Really appreciate you reading this intimate post! xx

  24. Kristen says:

    You are brave just like your sister said last night on snap! Good for you girl, I’m so glad you have picked up the pieces and are truly happy now for YOU! Thank you for being so transparent and sharing your story!

    • Wasn’t what she said so sweet? Took my by surprise and moved me to tears ha! Thank you for sweet words and for listening to my story! Sending love your way! xx

  25. Wow, Grace! Thank you for being so brave to share something so personal. I haven’t experienced anything like that but I cried while reading your story, as if I had. That’s how personal and transparent your writing is. I’m so sorry you had to deal with this, but you truly are making lemonade and when you do find the right guy, it will be all the sweeter. Everything that happens makes us who we are and it’s clear you’ve chosen to grow from it and I applaud you. And yay for getting back out there! That takes courage, too!

    I remember when I first saw your Instagram posts and I thought you were so polished and proper-looking and then i started following you on snapchat and really saw that there is a real person behind the polish and I was so entertained by your antics. I have a little fun with my fashion posts on Instagram, but I’m way past the time that I could do something like you’re doing, so it’s nice to live vicariously through you and your adventures! Keep doing YOU, girl! And remember, it really is none of your business what other people think of you–that’s their deal!

    • Hi Julie! I’m glad that you were able to spend some time to read my post — one that I hold close to my heart. It was hard to get over something so tragic, but I came out a 10x better woman because of it. I’m definitely a quirky gal {especially on snapchat}, and I’m happy you get to see a more ‘real’ side of me. Thanks for all of your kind words and have a fabulous week! xx

      • Julie Van Blaricom says:

        Wow! Even more impressed by you to read and respond to all your comments!

        I clicked over to your Instagram and realized I haven’t been seeing your posts! I see your stories and snaps, but stupid insta algorithyms have kept your posts from me! Gorgeous, girl!

        • Hi Julie! I’ve read every comment, every email, every text, every DM, and every tweet not once, not twice, but three times. That’s how much they all mean to me. It’s amazing to be a part of such an uplifting community of women. Thanks so much for your kind words, for reading this intimate story, and for following along! The insta algorithm frustrates me sometimes, but I’m glad you were able to catch this blog post! Have a great Thursday! Xx

  26. You are so strong for opening up and sharing this but stronger for going through what you did and being so positive! I’m so sorry he turned out to be a liar and an asshole but you’re better off!!! So glad you found out when you did! I’ve been following you for a while and love everuyhing about your blog, you’re new fitness section, etc. you’re doing amazing things!! Xoxo Lauren

    • Hi Lauren! First of all, thanks so much for always reading and commenting {even on insta} — you’re seriously the best, and your support means the world to me. Thanks so much for always being so encouraging and kind. The world could use a lot more people like you! xx

  27. Natalie Briggs says:

    “Transformation is not easy – it truly is death – re-birth.” Melanie Tonia Evans

  28. Jen says:

    Hi Grace,

    Thank you for sharing your story. Long time reader, first time commenter! lol A few years ago, I dated and actually LIVED with someone for a year who so convincingly lied about his life that I had NO idea who he was! Turns out he was a functional drug addict! Just before we met, he lost his vet tech license for stealing pain meds and got a DUI and never got his license cleared up. He got a decent job right away in a different industry so he never talked about that as part of his past. About 6 months into living together his drug habit got so bad that he started stealing my stuff from our garage to sell, stuff I didn’t use that often and was in the storage compartments (snowboard, wakeboard, golf clubs, hiking gear, old laptop) so it would be months before I realized it was missing. He stopped paying his portion of the rent, lost his job, would disappear for days on end. The day I kicked him out and took his key, he convinced the landlord to let him in and he stole my checkbook and cleared my account. And so much crap in between. It’s normal to feel completely betrayed and blame yourself for not seeing it sooner. Heck years later, I still kick myself in the ass for being blind to him. But it made me 1000x stronger and taught me what to look for and what to avoid when I was ready to date again. I’m glad you’ve found peace and happiness again. Readers appreciate honesty and rawness, we know bloggers lives aren’t all cute clothes, parties and traveling, so it’s nice to see the real person. good bad and ugly. best to you!

    • Hi Jen! That. is. crazy. You must be one tough gal! It’s amazing how people can be so deceitful — but I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. It’s difficult when you look in hindsight and say “why didn’t I see that” or “how could I have been so gullible”, but honestly, some people are just that good. Let me know if you ever need to chat about anything; I’m here for ya. Thanks for reading and for being so open! xx

  29. Roshni says:

    Stay strong doll. I experienced something similar over a span of 2 years so I can only imagine how you’re feeling after 4 years of giving so much of yourself to someone. Quite frankly, I felt broken. But it was that experience that opened my eyes to what truly matters. I feel stronger than ever before. Sending warm wishes for new beginnings. You’re amazing.

    • It’s definitely hard — but I’m thankful for people like you who uplift us all! Cheers to new beginnings, and I’m so sorry that you had to deal with something similar! xx

  30. Jordin says:

    Very impressed by your strength to post this and tell your story of something that will hit home with many people, including myself. It’s easy to get angry like we all do, but what really defies people from others is the will to put on your big girls pants and not lose yourself. You were someone before him, you are someone after him (a better person no doubt) and it sounds like you’re bouncing back and putting YOU first, that’s the first step! Cheers 🙂

    • Exactly, Jordin! Couldn’t say it any better myself! It’s hard to keep going and moving on, but with friends and family, it’s possible. Thanks for swinging by today and reading this {long} post! I’m glad I could encourage a few gals today. xx

  31. Mare says:

    I just recently discovered your blog, and girl you are SO inspiring! You’re a gem and you should never settle!! You gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince 🙂

  32. Ashley says:

    Grace, I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now. This post took major strength and vulnerability to write and I know that must not have been easy. You sound like you have an amazing support team around you and I know how thankful you must feel for them. Sending prayers that 2017 is your best year yet! xx

    • Hi Ashley! Hope you’re doing well — it’s been so long! This post was probably one of the hardest things I had to write, but it ended up being quite cathartic. Your sweet words have a special place in my heart. Thanks gf! xx

  33. Pam says:

    I’ve never commented before and am so much older than you, but I love your stories and think you are so smart and beautiful. You have the most important thing you need right now…faith and a very supportive family! Prayers for you in 2017!

    • Hi Pam! I always love hearing what people have to say, so I’m thrilled you decided to comment. Thank you for your encouraging words — faith in God is crucial during hard times. Hope your week is a great one! xx

  34. DIVYA says:

    Grace you are truly an inspiration! We all like to think life is perfect. I am sorry it has been so hard. I wanted to leave you a note to tell you I always look to your blog (more the fitness posts) when I feel terrible about my postpartum body. Wishing you lots of happiness and peace in 2017

    • Hey girl! Thanks for your kind words and for following along! I’m glad you like my fitness posts — fitness transformations take time, patience, and dedication. Keep on keepin’ on girlfriend! xx

  35. Lisa says:

    Oh Grace, this must have been so hard for you to share with us. Its these kind of stories that endear your followers to you!! I am so glad you have a wonderful family and support system around you. You are one of my favorite bloggers!! Big Hugs! Lisa

    • Hi Lisa! It was definitely difficult, but I’m glad I shared it with everyone. It’s like a burden has been lifted. Thanks for continuing to follow along and for your love & support! xx

  36. April says:

    Thank you so much for writing this! I’m actually from Paducah and went to Tilghman. I started medical school at Louisville this year and noticed him the first day of orientation week and then never saw him again…and thought it was really weird. I’m happy you have that negativity out of your life. Keep being awesome!!

    • Hi April! What a small world. It’s definitely an unfortunate situation, but I came out stronger than ever. Thanks for taking the time to read such an intimate post! P.S. Megan Monohan is a good friend of mine! Give her a squeeze for me. xx

  37. Lindsay says:

    Wow. I have been a reader/insta follower for quite awhile and actually had wondered what happened to Andrew. Girl, I can’t imagine what you felt because I have not been in that extensive of a situation, but I do know that it is not easy to move on from a life that you “thought” you had. I am so incredibly proud of you for knowing that you deserved more, for having the courage to walk away, and for giving yourself time to heal. God knows where you are and even when you felt like you lost faith in Him, I know He was right there with you, giving you the push and guidance you needed to navigate your way out of the grief/anger/betrayal/all other feelings you may have felt.

    Your man is out there and he will be here quicker than you think. Guaranteed. You are beautiful, successful, courageous, brave, and funny (from what I can see from Snapchats). I know that’s easy to say, but trust me, I promise he will get here fast and he will be so much more than anything you expected.

    In the meantime, enjoy being single. Have so much fun and give yourself what you need to bring out the biggest smile. Date some freaks that you can laugh about later and then go meet the ONE. You deserve it!!

    Lots of Love,
    Linds

    • Hi Lindsay! Thanks for following along for so long — I really appreciate it. So, you probably are familiar with my previous relationship, since I was quite public about it. It’s difficult being blindsided, but having such a great support system was the perfect cure. Everything always happens for a reason, and God truly does work in mysterious ways. Grateful for such great uplifting gals like you! xx

  38. Ashley says:

    Girl! It takes guts to be vulnerable with people but thank you for doing just that! I can just imagine the way God will use your story in amazing ways. You’re amazing!

    xox
    Ashley

  39. Hannah Williams says:

    This post was amazing! You are such a strong woman and I give you props for being so open about everything! You deserve nothing but happiness and I’m so happy you have finally found it 🙂

  40. Hey girlie. This shit is legit. You are so strong and beautiful for sharing this. Do you know how many women you have just helped? I too have openly shared my stories of heartbreak on my blog and it really helped me get through. I am from a large Catholic Italian family so I can definitely relate when it comes to having that supportive family when you go through something like you did. Everyone is hurt and that is what hurts most. You can hurt me…but when you hurt my family…i’m done. The guys from my last two relationships literally ripped my heart out and stomped on it and if I didn’t have the support of my parents and sister, I don’t think I would have survived. With my last heartbreak, my dad told me something that resonated. He said, “chels, men aren’t raising men anymore.” He was totally right. They are raising little boys who don’t know how to treat women and that is unfortunate because we are on the receiving end. With my last relationship, I felt like I lost my way with God, which has never happened before in my life. I finally went back to church right after Christmas (when the decorations were still up) and I sat down in the pew and cried. I cried because I was sorry, I was so sorry I had lost my faith in my God who never lost faith in me. I had been through shit that completely broke me but only became strong because of it so I thought crying meant weakness. But it doesn’t. It’s perfectly ok to shed tears, eat a pint of ice cream, drink a bottle of wine, and rebuild yourself. I threw myself back into being a #girlboss and am killing the game. Thank you so much for sharing this. Seriously. Keep on keeping your head up and your heart open. Your prince will come one day. Much love and respect. xoxo!

    • Hi Chelsy! I hope that I inspired a few women today — even just one would be sufficient for me. It’s so nice hearing that you’re also from a large catholic family. We’re so loyal, ya know? It’s amazing what a great support system can do. I too feel you on losing your way with God. I felt a lot of regret and sorrow for awhile, because what had happened was a blessing, yet I chose to turn away from Him. Luckily, we have infinite chances to make it right. Thank you for sharing your story with me and if you ever need to chat, just let me know! Lots of love! xx

  41. Brittany G says:

    Grace-

    I live in a world where I’m surrounded by gorgeous women (Maui). Flawless girls in expensive bikinis are all over the beaches, the magazines, and most of all, my Instagram. It is so comforting to read this blog post after seeing your emotion when talking about it on Snapchat last night. I’ve always seen you as a strong and independent woman and it has created a very strong respect for who you are and what you stand for. I appreciate that you’re a fitness model who can show the world that you have your cheat days and you can eat dessert and have some drinks. You’re real with your followers and the vulnerability you exposed to us all made me feel you are even stronger than I thought!

    Thank you for being real and being a good role model. I appreciate all of your posts and support what image you portray.

    Aloha,

    Brittany

    • Hi Brittany! Thanks for swinging by here and reading such an intimate post of mine. I really appreciate your kind words. Also, I LOVE my cheat days and not gonna lie, love a good drink, especially a glass of wine. It’s all about balance — in all aspects of life. Thank you for such an uplifting comment! Sending my love to Maui! xx

    • Hi Brittany! Thanks for swinging by here and reading such an intimate post of mine. I really appreciate your kind words. Also, I LOVE my cheat days and not gonna lie, love a good drink, especially a glass of wine. It’s all about balanace — in all aspects of life. Thank you for such an uplifting comment! Sending my love to Maui! xx

  42. ALB says:

    My heart hurts for you. I am all too familiar with this scenario…5 year relationship…my life…my world…I was happy. Oblivious. He was basically living another life. I know I’ll recover one day. That day has not yet come for me, but you give me hope. Thank you for sharing this.

    • That’s horrible. I’m sorry that you had to go through that. It’s hard finding out the truth, but now we both know what to look for! Let me know if you ever need someone to talk to, thanks for reading this post! xx

  43. You got this beauty!! If GOD brings you to it he’ll get you through it! Light a candle & pray the rosary…trust me, it works!

    Besos
    Erika

  44. Angelika says:

    Kudos to you for mustering up the courage and the balls to publically speak about your break up. Honestly it’s so inspiring to hear about you having expected to have a husband when you had a house but then to Come to the realization that us women do not and will not ever need a man to help with the handy work. You’re a kick ass woman with a kick ass blog and I’m so Excited to see what your future holds. Thank you for sharing your story of tragedy and pain but also of strength and resilience. Keep on, keeping on.

    • Thanks so much girlfriend! What doesn’t break ya, only makes you stronger. I’m happy to have inspired some gals today. Life isn’t easy, but it’s easier when you’ve got great friends and family to lean on! Have a great week! xx

  45. Julie says:

    I just cried… love you and your family. It happens to the best and you are the best

  46. George says:

    Sorry you had to go through that. My ex-wife cheated on me, got pregnant and had no plans on telling me that the baby wasn’t mine. The only reason I found out is because someone called me anonymously and told me they saw her with this other man. I spent the next month denying/investigating and when I started looking it was very easy to discover she was having an affair. I wondered all the time how I didn’t notice it. I think it is tough to see the dark side of the ones you love. I’m Catholic and she is as well. In fact she is an extremely devout Catholic. I haven’t been back to church since it happened. Every time I think of going I think about her, who acted like the most devout Catholic, but is a person that would do something that horrible. However, just like you, after awhile when I think about what she did I am completely indifferent about it and about her. I have no more feelings for her either good or bad and it really doesn’t bother me. I would tell people I was in an episode of Jerry Springer. I didn’t really think it affected me when it happened, but a lot of my friends have told me that I changed so it probably got to me more that I am willing to admit. I am droning on and telling you all this just to let you know that you aren’t alone! These things really do do happen. people can be deceitful and cruel, but not everyone.

    • Thanks for sharing such an intimate story that’s close to your heart! Relentless faith in God and a strong support system is the cure for such heartache. Your words definitely are a reminder that many people understand what I went through! I’m glad you were able to share some insight on such an unfortunate situation. Hope your week is an amazing one and keep your head up! xx

  47. This is beautiful! Your so inspiring! ❤️ I am going through a lot myself. So reading your journey is giving me so much comfort and a new outlook! ❤️️

  48. CJ says:

    Thank you for sharing!

    I married the lie/liar :-\ and had similar responses [avoiding church during the divorce to a certain degree, being strong or at least calm and fake-content in public during the marriage, etc.]. Were it not for my faith, friends and family, I wouldn’t know how to frame this! But I’m stronger, more resilient, more determined and closer to God because of it. Hard lessons can be great teachers [as in my case – some things don’t bear repeating lol]…but I sure hate to hear when others go through them!

    Kind of reminds me of 2 Timothy 3.2 -> my ex was definitely a lover of self, money [=mine], boastful [narcissistic in the extreme], proud, abusive [how can a lie and fake identity not be abusive…it’s mental terrorism!], disobedient to parents [they knew and said nothing!!!!!!!], ungrateful, unholy…

    Freedom and peace are priceless! Prayers lifted for you! I’m glad you’re doing well! I love your blog and that you are from KY!

    • Hi there! I’m so sorry to hear about your previous marriage. It’s definitely a difficult situation to deal with when you’re coping with betrayal and deceit. Faith in God and supportive family and friends are key in these situations! Thanks so much for your advice! xx

  49. Heather says:

    Grace,
    I stumbled on your blog about 2 years ago and have followed every since. I noticed when your blog changed slightly, but though “eh, everyone has life changes” I applaud you for being so open about what happened and for showing us in this post your bravery, strength, and (yes) your grace.

    I wish you all the best in your career and life. Your experience, difficult as it was, has given you the wisdom to separate the worthy from the unworthy. Rest assured there are good men out there, and when you least expect it he’ll appear in an unlikely place.

    • Hi Heather! Thank you for following along for 2 whole years {you da best}. Life definitely does change, and it affects your personal style more than ever, but I’m glad that you still stuck around. I was definitely a difficult situation to write about — but we women have to lift each other up. Have a great evening! xx

  50. Grace, it took a lot of courage for you to share this and this is not something easy that you have went through. I went through something similar with my ex-boyfriend and it took me a long time to heal. I had no interest in dating other people; I just wanted to surround myself with my family and friends. I wanted to focus on my career and travel. Slowly, I have started getting back into dating and frankly, it sucks. Guys are not like our dads. Your dad sounds like my dad; I come from a traditional Italian family and my dad (and my uncles) are gentlemen, handymen, would drop anything to help you kind of men. That’s hard to find today. But I know there are decent guys out there because my brother grew up to be an amazing man and from your Snapchat and blog, your brother seems like he is one of the good ones too. There is someone out there who will make you smile, put you first,encourage you, and treat you the way you should be treated, just like I know that I will eventually find that too. Keep doing what you are doing! I love your blog and honestly it inspired me to get the ball rolling on mine. Enjoy Florida and stay happy! 🙂
    Adina

    • Hi Adina! It’s amazing to hear how many women have experienced similar situations — it truly is a tragedy that we had to deal with such deceit, but we’ve become better women because of it! It really is hard to find men like our fathers, but I’m sure they’re out there {…somewhere}. And yes! My brother sure is one of the good ones — he’s a lot like my dad too. Thanks for your sweet comment and I hope you have a fabulous weekend! xx

  51. Hana says:

    Girl I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, but I had to comment. It brought me near to tears yesterday when I was in class. I am a college senior and in class yesterday reading this it felt like a weight was lifted off of me. I had a VERY similar experience and girl I just want you to know your not alone. I felt so very alone for such a long time after my experience. As a sophomore in college I met this older guy. He portrayed a very nice wealthy lifestyle, worked in finance, was a smoosher. He knew how to sweet talk. He got to know all my friends and family. We were practically engaged. After two years. One day it came crashing down on me. He was a fraud. I was bound to an apartment lease with him that turned out he had not been paying. My signature was forged due to a key release which I was told I was just allowed key access. Soon after this I was legally bound to months and months of his rent. He skipped out on town and never heard back. He was committing financial fraud with his finance clients. I could of taken it to small claims court, but it would of cost more in lawyer fees than it was worth. I was taken for all of my money at the ripe age of 21. At the time I had a full time job and was supporting my self while in college. He cost me more than 10 grand. It took a very long time to recover. But I have and am in a better place than ever. I am about to graduate, with an internship in sight, my youtube channel is started and about to compete in my first NPC Bikini competition. Very happy and am in the best relationship of my life. Shit happens, but you get through it and not all men are bad! Some yes, but there are some princes still out there! I wish you the best of luck!! And keep being your gorgeous beautiful stylish self!! <3

    • Hi Hana! I was on the lookout for your comment, so thanks again for reaching out! I’m so sorry — you didn’t deserve going through that, but you seem like such a strong and independent woman now. You are SO inspiring. Congrats on competing in your first NPC Bikini competition, and I’ll definitely be checking out your YouTube channel! Sending love your way! xx

      • Hana Counts says:

        Thanks girl <3 Yes !! I love your youtube ! In due time I'll get it right! Its soon true how lighting literally makes it!! I have to get all of the lighting fixed. Thank you so much for your kind words.
        Much love <3

  52. Abbey says:

    Holy smokes Grace, this speaks to my heart. I had to hold back tears while reading this because this was me 3 years ago. Thank you so much for sharing your story! As crazy as it sounds it takes more strength to show your weakness then to always put on a brave face. If someone would have told me three years ago that I would be this strong, happy and content in my life I would have told them, no way. It took me about a year to truly find myself and figure out what I wanted and what I deserved. And when I discovered those things, my life changed for the better. The best thing that ever happened to me was my break up because it allowed me to become a strong, confident woman, who didn’t need a man to compelte her life.

    I love following along with your life. It makes me happy to look back on the past few months (now knowing your story) and see how full you are living your life and to see how truly happy you are. Keep being true to yourself and God will put a man in your life that truly deserves you!

    Abbey ❤

    • Hi Abbey! So crazy that you experienced something so similar, and i’m sorry that you had to deal with that. We’re definitely 10x stronger because of it. I feel so independent and confident that I can’t imagine my life any other way! Really appreciate you saying such sweet things and for following along! xx

  53. Esther DeMeester says:

    Hey grace! This blog post is so inspiring, and I can’t believe somebody put you through that I can’t imagine it. You are so beautiful and such a strong person. I have so much respect for you! I’m so glad you are in such a happy place you so deserve it ❤
    God bless

  54. Gabriel says:

    What a brave and vulnerable thing to do! A similar situation happened to me several years ago and I’m here to tell you that nothing but good can come out of a situation like this. You’re a better person for it, you’re a better friend, daughter, sister, and one day wife. We’re close in age (I’m 26) and I definitely dated many frogs after my shitty relationship ended and eventually met my soon-to-be husband. My best advice is to never settle. When it’s “right” you will never have to feel worried or have to wonder about how he feels about you. You’ll have tough time and you will fight, but so will he – for you.

    You go girl! Inspired in more ways than one.

    • Hi Gabriel! Congratulations on your future wedding — so exciting! Your kind words mean a lot and I know I have become a better person after all of this. It was just hard to cope with at first, but luckily, with the help of my family and friends, I was able to heal. Thanks for your sweet comment! xx

  55. Cate says:

    Grace, what a brave post!! It probably feels good to let it out. I’ve watched your snaps for some time now and really enjoy them. I find that your positive very funny, independent and so sweet. It’s so sad how people can be so deceiving. I dated a guy years ago that was verbally abusive and a cheater. I have sense meet a great guy (an not gonna lie I’m like are you for real) so there are still great ones out there. Thanks again for the post and letting us in on your life, we are all here to support you 😉

  56. Sally says:

    Wow, you are so strong and amazing for being so vulnerable with your readers! I am so sorry for what you went through, but it’s even better that you came out stronger! One of my favorite Bible verses is 2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” Funny how it literally says, “grace,” in the Bible verse… Maybe this will help you and inspire you- I hope so! Because of your past, your weakness and your vulnerability, you are made stronger! Thank you for posting this. To me, you are so much more of a “real-person,” not just some blogger on the internet. THANK YOU for being so open about your life- I absolutely love this post and I’ll be keeping you in my prayers, girly!

  57. Jen says:

    I just recently found your blog so this is all new to me, but you did an excellent job with this post. I think it makes sense you waited until it felt right for you to post this, smart move. I think you realized in the end that it was his issues, poor decisions and lies that were the problem. What happened shows he was the broken one not you. You did nothing wrong since you were genuine and honest. It is such a hard experience but you learn so much about yourself and who you can count on. Best wishes for a great 2017 and thanks for your honesty and openness!

    • Hi Jen! Well, first, welcome to my blog as a new-ish follower! Really happy that you took the time to read this post and reach out to me. It was definitely a rough situation to go through, but I came out just fine luckily, and learned a lot about myself and about others in the process. Hope you have a great evening! xx

  58. Jen Nordine says:

    Thank you for being raw and open about your experience. It’s the woman like yourself that make other women feel empowered to stand up for themselves and get out unhealthy relationships. I went through a similar experience – he lied, he cheated, he broke my heart. I thought I’d never love and trust the same but I eventually did – it just took time. My mom always says it takes a year to heal from heartbreak and always have faith, not fear. We are one in the same – faith and family gets you through all obstacles!

    I truly admire your strength. Thank you for sharing!

    God bless you, Grace!

    Xo!
    Jen Nordine

    • Hi Jen! Faith and family truly do lift you up when you need it most. I’m super thankful for the role they played in getting over such a hard time in my life. Thank you for sharing such an intimate and similar story with me — hope you have a wonderful weekend! xx

  59. Laura S. says:

    You are a true embodiment of “to be womanly always; to be discouraged never”. Thank you for sharing you journey. You are such an inspiration!

    -A fellow Chi O

  60. Andrea Jenkins says:

    Grace,

    A lot of people have already said this but I want to reiterate how extremely brave and strong I think you are for walking through this and sharing it with your readers. What great friends and family you have! Not an easy thing for someone to bring to her best friend. That took a lot of love and I was really impressed by it. I’m forging my way through my divorce and I have learned that getting over it is not a linear process. At times I have felt over it and at times I feel like it just happened. It sounds like you are giving yourself the time you need to grieve and work through things. I think it can be easy to be hard on ourselves for not “feeling better” quickly enough or “not getting over it” fast enough. No one is walking that walk but you and we shouldn’t be hard on ourselves for it. (I’m saying this to myself at the moment!) The people in our lives that aren’t there for us do need to go too! I’ve done a good bit of purging myself. On a lighter note – I LOVE your workout posts and you are such an inspiration to me! I love the gym and enjoy following along to see your new workouts and amazing clothes! Enjoy that house and keep crushing it! You are an amazing woman! Thanks again for sharing….

    • Hi Andrea! I’m sorry to hear that you’re coping with a divorce — that can’t be easy, but you seem extremely tough and what you’re dealing with is quite inspirational. I really want to thank you for that advice, because you’re right, healing is definitely not a linear process. Thanks for always following along and being so supportive! xx

  61. Kelly says:

    I never comment on bloggers instagram posts or their blog posts but felt compelled to show some type of support 🙂 I love your insta handle and as one of my favorite bloggers I’m so happy you’re so active and forthcoming with all your insights on fashion, fitness and food! The internet makes us nosy especially when we share our personal lives. I wondered where he had gone and picked up on the subtle comments about you now being single. I hoped it didn’t end badly and I’m sorry to hear it did. You seem like a very strong woman that has a lot going for her. I too am catholic and believe that God never gives us more than we can handle. Him exposing your ex was a gift and although hard to see and accept at first, I’m sure after all these months you look back and are grateful. Keep doing you, looking out for #1, and um hello can you say revenge body? You look great girl congratulations on turning sour grapes into some really good wine!

    • Hey Kelly! It was indeed quite difficult to be so personal on here, but I’m glad that I did! I knew some people had noticed, and I had been going through a hard time, but wasn’t ready to share until I was fully healed. Everything happens for a reason! Thanks so much for your sweet words, for following along, and for enjoying my fashion, fitness, and food content {I definitely need to start posting more yummy recipes!}. xx

  62. Peggy D says:

    Grace, good for you for dealing with it, working through it, feeling it, and beginning to let it go. I had a very similar situation except I had the misfortune of marrying the guy. I didn’t give myself the chance to heal and get perspective, and I walked right into another dysfunctional relationship. Give yourself time – everything will look very different to you as time goes by. I know this because I’m old now. 🙂 You’re strong and smart and you have a great future ahead of you! No one defines who you are but you.

    • Hi Peggy! I’m so sorry that you had to deal with such a horrible and similar situation, but I’m sure you came out 10x stronger. I look up to gals like you who give such amazing advice. Thanks for reaching out! xx

  63. brittany farris says:

    everyone else has already said everything I thought after reading this, but this post was so inspiring! I actually go to the same gym as u, and I see u puttin’ the stair stepper to shame and think ‘damn she seems a badass’ haha and after reading this, I know u are! u have everything going for u and only great things ahead! so just keep doin’ u!

    • Hi Brittany! So thrilled to hear your a fellow Milestone gal! Thanks for saying those sweet words — I hold all of these uplifting comments so close to my heart. If you ever see me at the gym, please come up and say hi! I’d love the chance to meet you! xx

  64. Whitney says:

    Wow! What a strong beautiful woman you are! I have followed you for a while now and love how down to earth you are! You share so much of your life with us and I’m sure as most do, I look forward to your posts and snaps! I have said this to a friend recently and I will say it to you (though I know you don’t know me, I hope that it will empower you).

    You hear me Grace! You deserve so much more than that man could have ever given you! You deserve to be honored, cherished and adored! You deserve to be pursued and put first! You deserve to be happier than you ever thought possible! And you know what?! You will find that! Enjoy this time to yourself but know that God will send you a man that will be all of those things for you! You are an inspiration to me and many of your followers! We have your back!

    So now go do your leg workout and keep that bangin body tight!!

    XOXO!!

    • Hi Whitney! I was so nervous at first to share this — I almost bailed, not gonna lie, but in the end, I’m SO glad that I ended up following through. The outreach and support from amazing gals like you have been nothing short of inspirational. Really appreciate your kind words — God works in mysterious ways. P.S. killed leg day today (haha!) xx

  65. Supra says:

    Wow, this was so brave of you to write! I completely understand how breaking up with someone affects not only you, but your whole family! The fact that you said this publicly is a testament to your strength and confidence. We are all human, and we wouldn’t be unless we went through the breadth of blissful happiness and aching strife. You should proud of all of your accomplishments! We are all witness to so many of them! You are beautiful, smart, very sweet (I met you once) and successful and no one can take that away from you! Congratulations on your new found self, your internet family is rooting for you!

    • Hi Supra! So sweet to reach out and say all of those kind things. It’s difficult coming out and sharing such a personal story, but I’m so glad that I did. The support I’ve received is unreal and your sweet words mean the world to me. Thanks so much! xx

  66. Thank you so much for sharing. My heart aches for you and what you had to go through but it seems you are stronger now because of it! God bless you.

  67. Victoria Royal says:

    You are such an inspiration! Thank you for sharing this experience with us. It helps to draw strength from each other and lift each other up. After 20 years of marriage, I went through a very difficult divorce leaving me with 5 children to start our lives over. I am a very private person, I understand how hard it has to be to bare your soul with so many. Thank you again. I admire your strength, your fiery spirit, and fun personality!! Keep doing you!

    • Hi Victoria! I’m so sorry to hear about your divorce after 20 years — that must have been so hard. I bet you gained so much strength from that though. I appreciate your kind words. Let me know if you ever need anything! xx

  68. Hannah says:

    Thanks so much for sharing. Keep your head up and keep smiling. I’ve followed your instagram for a fee years now and just love who you are, I side and out!

    • Hi Hannah! Thank you for following along for a few years. Your support and readership means a lot to me. These kinds of experiences help form me as a woman, so it’s nice that I can look back on the situation without any anger. Really appreciate you reaching out! xx

  69. Bette says:

    Girl. You are SO brave. I was in an extremely similar situation years ago. We seemed perfect to everyone, including myself, but lawdddd was I wrong! I was down and out for almost two years. I couldn’t understand how a person cloud be so twisted and treat a person so badly. Your strength is truly inspirational. You look amazing! Your attitude and spirit are very uplifting! I love your blog and how honest your snaps are. Keep doing what you’re doing!

    • Hi girl! Thanks so much for reaching out — it’s hard to go through something like this, as I’m sure you know, but it helps to surround yourself with positivity. I gain strength from gals like you! Thank you for your motivational comment! xx

  70. Kelsey says:

    Grace,

    I am thankful that you shared this post because so many more girls have been through the same situation that you realize and sometimes it’s nice to know that we aren’t alone in that. It’s also so refreshing when bloggers are real and let their readers know that life isn’t just the pretty pictures. So, thank you for being real and sharing this post.

    • Hi Kelsey! I’m blown away by all of the amazing responses I’ve receive — yet saddened by how many women have gone through a similar situation as mine. It’s important that we all stick together! Thanks for taking the time to read this intimate story of mine…it really means a lot! xx

  71. Elizabeth says:

    So happy you chose to post this! Things like this are never easy to admit, much less share with the world as you have. But because you did, you’re better and stronger for it, showing that this is yet another life lesson to learn and grow from. My brother just went through the same thing with his wife and I was that person to show him the proof that changed everything. They’re finally getting a divorce after 8 years of lies…he’s finally seen “the light” and is SO much happier now. I’m so happy to see you come out of this in a much better place personally! Get it girl, the world is your oyster!!

    • Hi Elizabeth! It was definitely not an easy situation to face, but I’m happy that it all worked out for the best. I was glad to share this story with people, because it’s something that more and more people {both women and men} encounter. I appreciate you sharing that story with me and for being so encouraging! Everything happens for a reason. Have a great Sunday! xx

  72. Danielle says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this! As a blogger, we always struggle trying to figure out what to share and what not to share, but people need to know that you’re human too. This post has given me so much inspiration! I’m in my last semester at University of Louisville, and I’m in the weird phase where all my friends are getting engaged and I’m just trying to be selfish about my career. Seeing you dedicate so much time to your health and happiness just lets me know that I’ve made the right decision. It’s so important for girls to hear this message because this is something that we all go through. Everyone has played the fool at some point in a relationship (including myself). It’s inspiring to hear how you restored your faith in God because when you go through tough times, it’s easy to start feeling distant. The best revenge you can give is being a good person and moving on, and it sounds like you’ve done just that! Thank you so much for sharing ❤

    • Hi Danielle! It’s so great to see another UL gal! Everyone moves at different paces. I would always look at some of my friends who are getting engaged and married, and I feel as though I’m ‘behind’, but that’s not the case at all. This is the time to be selfish and to conquer your goals and set new ones. God always has a plan — and I trust in that. Thanks again for your kind words and hope your Sunday has been amazing! xx

  73. Allison says:

    I don’t know what else to say that has not already been said. Sorry you had to go through that but I think it shows how strong of a woman you are that you came through this with grace and strength. Prayers that you will continue to grow and prosper! Much love to you!

    • Hi Allison! Thank you for reaching out and taking the time to read about what’s been going on in my life. I really appreciate your kind words and prayers! xx

  74. Sarah says:

    Hi Grace!

    You are so brave for putting yourself out there and telling your story. I have a huge amount of empathy for you as I was in a six year relationship and similarly found out I was being lied to about many fundamental things. He was essentially living a double life and there were things I felt were off all along that I would question but he would always have reasons and answers (I now know that is very common for a narcissist/manipulator/liar). Ultimately, I felt very held back in the relationship and once I was done I fully embraced all the things that I had been wanting to do! Took a trip to Europe last April and then at the end of the summer up and moved to Chicago for an amazing job that I am loving. My life is now more full than it ever was when I was with him and my feelings have come full circle.

    I relate to your moment on the beach where you move to indifference. The opposite of love/hate is apathy and I knew if I could get there that would be the freedom I needed from the situation. I no longer think they were “years wasted” as I truly do believe everything happens for a reason whether it was a lesson or a blessing. Looking back you and I both dodged a bullet and what lies ahead will be far greater than anything in our past or that we couldn’t imagine losing.

    I want you to know that I have followed your blog for years (throughout my difficult relationship) and it truly was something I looked forward to each day. I thank you for putting yourself out there and allowing us to identify with you! Women supporting women is one of the most amazing movements I’ve experienced this last year with my girlfriends who really picked me up and I know we are far stronger together than apart. So thank you, thank you, thank you!! 🙂

    P.S. It’s always been on my list of goals to start a blog and since I’m attacking those one by one as I own my life I decided to do that this year! I’ve put up one post and am slowly navigating my way through how this all works – I hope to provide the inspiration, love and creativity that you do one day!

    So much love to you lady!
    Sarah

    • Hi Sarah! It definitely wasn’t easy sharing this story. That’s also just how I felt — they always have answers. They’re just so dang good at it. Once you achieve indifference, I think you are truly healed. I was in such an ‘angry’ state for so long, and I knew it wouldn’t be good for anyone involved if I were to post it while I was still angry. I really appreciate you reaching out and sharing bits and pieces of your life with me! It’s great when women uplift other women. I wish you the best of luck with your goals {and your blog}! Have a great evening! xx

  75. Colleen says:

    Grace, KUDOS to you for being brave enough to post this personal story. I hope it was therapeutic for you. What’s crazy is that only you know how you feel, and only you can digest and work through those emotions. It sounds like you’ve come so far from being so upset – and you have SO much to be happy about which I know you are! I went through a rough break up a few months ago and while it totally sucks, in the long run I knew it wasn’t right for me and what I wanted… you are strong and beautiful and didn’t deserve this, but the universe has amazing plans for you. The guys will be pawning all over you! Congrats on this awesome post, and thanks for sharing!

    • Hey Colleen! First of all, I’m so happy that you read this intimate story of mine. It was difficult to share {trust me} and I kept going back and forth on it. I’m sorry that you had to just recently deal with a breakup. Heartbreak is no fun! Everything happens for a reason — thanks so much for swinging by and for your sweet words. xx

  76. Amy Privett says:

    So good to hear that u have cycled thru all the emotions! We all heal on our own terms. I understand what u went thru, I felt the same when I divorced. Where was the man I married. For months during our separation, I heard so many things that I got to the point I said thank u but I don’t need to know anymore, I’m good lol People expect u to bounce back in like 2 days, it doesn’t work that way. I took a few years for healing & finding myself again. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason good or bad, we learn from everything. The best has yet to come!!

    • Hi Amy! Thanks for reading my life update — it means so much to me. It takes awhile to heal, especially when you’re going through any kind of heartbreak {regardless of the reason}. The best truly has yet to come girlfriend! Have a fabulous evening! xx

  77. Sara Cantillo says:

    Thank you for sharing with us, Grace. You are amazing. Surprisingly, that happens to a lot of people, including good friends of mine, and I was lied to by a close family member in a similar way! Hard to believe. God has a plan for you, and you are doing great. You are lucky that you are the strong, independent woman that you are and that you didn’t find out later when you had a marriage and children to worry about. Here’s to moving on. And please know that it’s okay to share when you are hurting. We all are in different ways. Nice to know in a weird way that you are a real person 🙂

    • Hi Sara! Thanks so much for reaching out. That’s got to be hard — family is always a gray area, ya know? Because, they’re blood…but when you feel betrayed, you can’t help but want to cut them out of your lives. I hope you were able to get past that and thanks for your sweet, sweet words! xx

  78. Shannon says:

    Hi Grace-
    I am raising a glass to you! This is something I unfortunately can relate to. This story couldn’t have been an easy one to share with the internet. I think all we can do is try to see the best in people. Especially people that have made their way into our hearts. It isn’t for lack of wit but a kind heart and open mind. I also find some of the most successful people I know possess some of these same qualities. You are no different, lady! Keep kicking a$$ and taking names! Xo

    • Hi Shannon! It definitely wasn’t easy to share, but I’m really glad that I did! I’m sorry that you can relate to it {even though it was such a bad thing that happened, we all came out stronger, am-i-right?!}. Anyways, I really appreciate your kind words and seriously motivational comment! I feel like I can conquer anything after reading that ha! Thanks girl!
      xx

  79. Elizabeth M says:

    Absolutely loved reading this! This past year I experienced something very similar. The difference was that I was engaged when I found out about him being unfaithful and lying to me for months. I too was blind sided when I found out about everything! It was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I waited my whole life to get proposed to and begin that chapter in my life. To be betrayed and deceived by a man I thought I loved was the ultimate heartbreak. I actually wrote a blog post about it a few months ago that I only shared with a few friends but have never shared it publicly. One of my friends came across your blog and sent it to me for inspiration to share my story. After reading your story, you have inspired me to share mine! Thank you for being brave and vulnerable with your story!

    • Hi Elizabeth! I’m really sorry that you had to go through that, especially when engaged. Everything happens for a reason — I firmly believe that. I’m so glad that your friend shared my story with you and that it served as some inspiration. It’s tough getting through something like that, but with such a great network of support, all is well! Thanks so much for reaching out and I’m sending lots of love your way! xx

  80. Cara says:

    you go girl!!!

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